Jess (iris513) wrote in donewithmen,
Jess
iris513
donewithmen

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I hate a double standard

For as long as I have been dating, there has been one constant. I have always dated guys who are at least a year older than I am. There has never been any issue with this, as far as I was concerned.

I have recently gotten into a situation involving a guy a couple of years younger than I. By 'situation' I mean that he has been indicating an interest in me that goes beyond the friendly. This is an interesting thing for me to think about, because I am finding it kind of objectionable. Without dwelling too much on the specifics (which would only serve to complicate the issue further), I think my main problem is basically the age difference.

This guy is funny, and smart, and just generally a great person to be around. I have a lot of fun when I am with him. If it weren't for the age thing, I might consider the possibility at least.

I started to think about this a little more, and the more I thought the less comfortable with myself I became. The difference in age between this guy and myself is not much more than the difference that existed between myself and my last boyfriend. Certainly it is considerably less than the difference with the last guy I dated. The only other variable is that with all of my past relationships, I was always on the younger side of things. Why is it that the situation changes when I am the older party?

It feels hypocritical of me to raise an objection in one case, where the same condition in another was a non-issue.

I have asked a couple of people about this, and the only conclusion we have drawn is that as far as position in life, this specific case involves two people with much different ones. However, that same thing could have been said about any of the relationships I have been in before. This obviously dosn't suffice, I present it to you: Am I a hypocrite? Or do sometimes double standards simply exist, and no amount of rationalization is possible?
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