Tara Taylor (azurezephyr) wrote in donewithmen,
Tara Taylor

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The story of my life....

I was married once, I believe I went through with the whole ceremony just so I could get out. So I could get away from everything and everyone. I didn't really even love the guy. I got a divorce 4 years later. I didn't mind the marriage part, but I did mind the controling, overbearing, has to have things his way, guy I was married to. It took me up until during that 4th year to figure out what exactly was wrong in my life, and what exactly I wanted from my life.

About a year after my divorce, I hooked up with a guy who I thought was honest, fun-loving, caring...etc. I fell in love with him, and I thought he was in love with me. He said the words, went through the actions... a year after being with him he flipped out and broke up with me. He said he was getting to close, he wasn't ready to be that close to anyone, he wanted to see other women. The problem was that I really did love him. I chased after him, followed him, kept going back.... for two more years we were on and off together, until finally he called it quits for good. Dilligent, persistant (ignorant, stupid) me continued to hang around until I got him to confess he was seeing someone else - had already moved in with her, in fact. A meer two weeks after breaking up with me during a phone call. Needless to say I was devastated. To this day I have these very conflicted feelings whenever I'm around him, which isn't often and only at work. He recently married the chick he was dating after he broke up with me. He hasn't even known her a full year, she's 9 years his senior and has two nearly adult kids. Fucked up deal, especially when the whole time we were together he was spouting how he'd be damned if he ever got married again. Right. Fucking hypocrite.

The next guy I was with, even though I swore to myself that I'd wait a year before seriously seeing anyone again, was just as fucked up as the last one. I just didn't realize it yet. He put me through so much crap, I can't even begin to describe it all. In the end, he breaks up with me after about 4 months stating that he wants to go back to CA to be with his kids. I'm cool with that, his youngest son had been having health problems. A month after breaking up with me, he tells me that during the times he had gone to CA to see his kids (trips that I helped him take), he was fucking his ex-girlfriend. Son-of-a-bitch. I was so shocked that I could not even really have a reaction, which was fine because I'm sure the lack of reaction disappointed him. *snerk*

I have such wonderful taste in men.

It's been two months since the last, and I believe I will keep it that way for awhile.

I'm done - with - men, for now.
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